Heaven Sent
by Solar Winded Flare
Summary: When Joss comes across an old, abandoned monastery, he receives a message from someone he originally thought dead.


**A/N: I was re-reading through the Slayer Chronicles: First Kill and this came to mind. What if someone beyond the grave came to talk to Joss? What if they confronted him about his decision to join the Slayer Society?**

**This oneshot is kind of religious, but not really. I'm sorry if there are any mistakes! :)**

**I don't own Joss or TCVT.**

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**Heaven Sent**

Joss McMillan let out a sigh as he ran his fingers through his dirty brown hair.

There were bags under his eyes and his whole body was ready to drop. Another long night of slaying vampires was taking its toll on him. He had been up and kicking for two days straight, not a wink of sleep in between hunting. Now that the adrenaline was gone and the vampires were dead, weariness was creeping up on him.

As he walked through the seemingly-empty town, he couldn't help but notice an old building sitting in the woods on the side of the road. It was crumbling; most of the bricks were covered with moss and vines. Old statues that looked like they were magnificent in their days were worn down from rain and wind. Atop the building sat a cross.

Joss didn't realize he was walking towards it until he felt himself trip over a tangle of dead branches.

He stumbled, then caught himself before he could face-plant into the dirt. For the briefest moment, as Joss began to get up, he thought he saw blood on his hands. Blood from the night's earlier events.

Blood from the monsters that passed off as regular humans. Blood from monsters who crept into little girls' bedrooms and killed them.

Joss wiped his dirt-caked hands on his pants and continued towards the abandoned building. There was a weird aura about the place; it felt holy, and yet there was something else there. Joss felt like there was something important about that building. There was something waiting for him, something _big_.

He ducked through the main entrance, barely avoiding a massive spider web, and realized that the building, other than the growth and crumbling statues, was in pretty decent shape.

The interior was a typical church setting. The pews were wooden and rotting, moss and insects governing the thick wood. Miraculously, the stained glass windows were in great condition and allowed multi-colored light into the church. At the pulpit, where a priest would stand and discuss Biblical meanings, there sat a stack of books.

_Probably old Bibles_, Joss mused.

As he approached the pulpit, he noticed something shiny laying on its surface. It looked like a pendant of some sort, and upon closer inspection, Joss realized it was a crucifix.

He picked it up and ran his thumb over the inscription.

_"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28_

Joss sighed, his thoughts drifting towards Cecile. He often wondered just how many more monsters he would have to take down to free her soul completely. Every time he looked at himself in the mirror, he looked older. Every kill was aging him, little by little.

And every time Joss looked at his hands, he saw blood. Each kill brought more of the vicious crimson liquid to his fingers, and no matter how many times Joss showered and washed his hands, the blood would remain.

Eventually, he grew to ignore it. However, in moments of solitude, in moments of weakness, he could see the blood on his hands. It disturbed him, but he knew he had to do it for Cecile.

_For you, Cecile._

Joss set the crucifix back onto the pulpit and began to walk down the aisle. When he was about to duck out of the old church, something warm touched his hand.

"Jossie?"

He tensed.

_That voice.._

He turned around to see a white mass standing in front of the pulpit. The white mass turned around, and Joss felt his heart stop.

Familiar golden curls hung around a babyish face. Piercing blue eyes stared right through Joss's soul and made him feel vulnerable. The little girl was dressed in robes of white. She looked small and frail, as always, but there was something different about her.

She looked worried.

"Jossie, it's me."

For a moment, Joss wanted to believe this... _thing_. He wanted to believe that Cecile was standing here, in front of him.

But he knew better.

"I'm going crazy," he muttered to himself, shaking his head. "I'm finally losing my mind."

"No, you're not, Joss," Cecile murmured, walking towards him. "I'm here with you. I've never left you, not for one second."

"Cecile is _dead_," Joss replied bitterly. "You're not real. I'm just sleep-deprived."

The little girl in front of him reached up to take his hand. "Please believe me, Jossie. I'm really here. I promise."

Joss sighed. He was tired and all he wanted was to go back to his nice hotel room and crash.

"Okay, if you're really Cecile, then prove it."

The little girl looked down at her bare feet before locking eyes with Joss.

"For years, you had nightmares about me telling you that my death was all your fault. But it wasn't, Jossie. It wasn't anybody's fault."

Joss's throat closed up with emotion. He had never told anyone of those damned nightmares.

"And... and I know all about how Uncle Abraham was mean to you and he hurt you and you hated him," she continued, her voice getting through that thick wall Joss had built up over the years. "I know about how you killed that vampire, Sirus, and I know that you became a Slayer. I know all of that because I was there with you, Jossie."

"Cecile...?" Joss's voice cracked. He knelt down so that he was eye level with her. The little girl giggled and threw herself into his arms.

"I missed you, Cecile," he whispered, hugging her tightly. He could feel tears beginning to run down his cheeks. God, he'd missed his little sister so much.

"But I've always been right here, Jossie. You just couldn't see me." She sounded smug, but Joss knew she was just being playful. "I wanted to tell you something, though. I can't stay long, so I have to tell you right away."

Joss felt his heart tighten. "Oh... What is it?"

He released the girl and she gave him a sad look.

"Jossie, I want you to get out of the Slayer Society."

The boy stared at her in shock. "W-what?"

"Joss, it's not right what you do. You're not saving mankind; you're becoming what mankind fears, and you're putting yourself through too much pain."

"But Cecile, your soul isn't at rest," Joss argued, ignoring the last part. "You need to be freed. You need salvation."

The little girl shook her head, her curls bouncing. "No, Joss, I've already been freed. I'm at peace; there is nothing holding me down."

"But... the nightmares..."

She smiled sadly. "The human subconscious can be pretty mean, huh? I would never blame you for my death. Those nightmares were just tricks your mind was playing on you."

Joss sighed. "Cecile... How am I going to quit the Society? I can't just go up to them and say 'hey, I'm done, I'll see you later'. They'll kill me."

She huffed. "Oh, they're just a bunch of meanies! Just try your best, okay?"

Joss nodded. As he stared at her almost-golden form, he couldn't help but suddenly feel weighed down from all the deaths he caused.

"Even if I were to do that, I might never see you again," he choked out. "I'm going to hell."

"It's never too late," she replied. Her form was fading. "God always forgives, no matter how far gone you are."

"Wait, Cecile, don't go!" Joss reached for her hand but only grabbed air. Cecile giggled.

"I love you, big brother! Be happy, okay? I'll always be with you!"

With that, her form was gone.

Joss stared at the place Cecile had been standing. He stared for a long time before he felt tears build up in his eyes. Standing up, he tried to suppress his emotions.

Just as he had calmed himself down, wind flew past his ear.

"It's okay to cry, Jossie. I love you."

The boy's face twisted and he burst into tears, letting all of his emotions out. His sobs were filled with raw sorrow.

_It's not your fault, Jossie. It was never your fault._

He knew then that all he had done had been for naught. He felt terrible.

_God always forgives, no matter how far gone you are._

When Joss had finished letting out all of his pent-up emotions, he stood and wiped his eyes. He turned to walk out of the crumbling church when he felt something light press against his cheek.

For just a fleeting moment, he thought he had seen Cecile kiss him on the cheek. He thought he had seen her with a pair of big, beautiful white wings. She had been smiling, giggling even, and once again mouthed the words 'I love you'.

But once again, the world was still.

Joss's heart felt lighter than it ever had. He didn't feel as tired as he had before, and he felt refreshed.

That's when Joss decided to walk to the nearest church. If Cecile wanted him to get out of the Slayer Society, then he would figure something out.

But for right now, he had a few confessions to make.

He didn't see it, but right beside him was Cecile. She was smiling ear to ear.

_I love you, big brother._


End file.
